1 00:00:00,568 --> 00:00:01,535 THIS IS SUBLIME. 2 00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:03,937 IT WAS THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION. 3 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,107 THE MUSIC, THE COSTUMES, THE SETS. 4 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:08,209 ALL CYLINDERS WERE FIRING ON THIS ONE, BOY! 5 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,278 WHO KNEW THEY ALL HAD SUCH MUSICAL TALENT. 6 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,914 AND SUCH FAR-OUT BOOTY-SHAKING ABILITIES AS WELL. 7 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,850 MAIL, LADIES. THANKS, EDDIE. 8 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:20,521 THIS WAS LISTED AS THE WORST 50 SHOWS OF ALL TIME IN "TV GUIDE". 9 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,390 I KNOW! WHO ARE THEY TO JUDGE? 10 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,024 I KNOW. IT'S ON OUR TOP-50 BEST. 11 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:26,994 YEAH, RIGHT AFTER "HOLMES AND YO-YO" AND "HEE HAW HONEYS." 12 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:30,331 RORY, GET BACK! THEY'RE IN CLOWN SUITS AND HEADED FOR THE POOL! 13 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,066 OH, MY GOD! HONEY, COME HERE. 14 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,667 IT'S HERE! WHAT'S HERE? 15 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,035 MY APPLICATION TO HARVARD. 16 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:37,871 OH, MY GOD! 17 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:40,141 OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 18 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,409 IMPRESSIVE LETTER "H", HUH? 19 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,777 OH, YEAH, IT'S SO "H-H-H." 20 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:44,845 VERY. 21 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,415 CAN I HOLD IT? BE CAREFUL. 22 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:51,385 OH, IT'S HEAVY -- HEAVY WITH IMPORTANCE. I FEEL DIZZY. 23 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,422 YOU SURE IT'S NOT ROBERT REED IN TIGHT CLOWN PANTS? 24 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,258 LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT WHEN MY APPLICATION TO HARVARD ARRIVED, 25 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,293 WE WERE WATCHING "THE BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR." 26 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,529 I HOPE YOU DON'T LOOSE POINTS? I HOPE NOT. 27 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,165 I WISH IT CAME WHEN I WAS READING "DEAD SOULS." 28 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,300 WE'LL TELL PEOPLE THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING, 29 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,602 AND THAT I WAS STUDYING A REALLY BIG GLOBE. 30 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,572 YOU CAN KEEP A SECRET? THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST. 31 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,641 "DEAD SOULS" AND A REALLY BIG GLOBE. 32 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:14,975 DEAL! 33 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,544 OH, KAYAKS! 34 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:23,417 * IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD * 35 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:29,357 * FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD * 36 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,526 * ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL MY NAME * 37 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:36,997 * AND I'LL BE THERE ON THE NEXT TRAIN * 38 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:41,569 * WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW * 39 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:45,606 * ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO * 40 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,242 * IF YOU NEED * * IF YOU NEED * 41 00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,478 * YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU * 42 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,346 * I WILL FOLLOW * 43 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,648 * OH, OH, OH * 44 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:59,453 * WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW * 45 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,524 * ANY, ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO * 46 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,160 * IF YOU NEED * * IF YOU NEED * 47 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,496 * YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU * 48 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:12,766 * I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD * 49 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,603 COME ON, I WANNA GET STARTED. 50 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,038 HOLD YOUR HORSES, LITTLE MISS HORSEY HOLDER. 51 00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,674 THEY'LL EXPECT A HIGHER LEVEL OF WIT AT HARVARD. 52 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,410 OH, WATCH THAT DRINK! [ POP-TOP SNAPS ] 53 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,645 I'M NOWHERE NEAR IT. WELL, KEEP IT THAT WAY. 54 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,014 THIS IS AN UNCONTAMINATED AREA -- 55 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,483 I EVEN CLEANED THE TABLE USING SOMETHING OTHER THAN 56 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,219 MY SWEATER SLEEVE AND SPIT. 57 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,321 LOVELY IMAGE. I'LL BE CAREFUL. 58 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,023 HERE WE GO. FIRST QUESTION -- 59 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,891 [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD! WHAT? 60 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,328 WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHEN YOU RECEIVED THIS APPLICATION? 61 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:43,364 COUNTS FOR 50% OF YOUR ELIGIBILITY. STOP. 62 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,832 I NEED HELP. WITH WHAT? 63 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,867 SHE'S WRITING HER "DRUMMER SEEKS ROCK BAND" AD. 64 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,303 IT'S NOT READING RIGHT. COULD YOU GUYS LOOK IT OVER? 65 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,541 LET'S SEE. "DRUMMER WITH STRONG BEAT SEEKS BAND INTO THE ACCELERATORS, 66 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,376 "THE ADOLESCENTS, THE ADVERTS, AGENT ORANGE, 67 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:59,413 THE ANGELIC UPSTARTS, THE AGNOSTIC FRONT, ASH --" YOU WENT ALPHABETICALLY. 68 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,415 IT SEEMED TIDY. AND A LITTLE OCD. 69 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,850 AND LONG. I CAN MAKE CUTS. 70 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,952 -- IT'S THREE PAGES SINGLE-SPACED. MAKE CUTS. 71 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,187 THIS IS THE CUT-DOWN VERSION -- FROM THE LETTER "A" 72 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:10,224 I EXCLUDED AC/DC, THE ANIMALS, AND A-HA. FOOTNOTE IS GUILTY PLEASURE. 73 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,460 IF WE CAN'T GET THROUGH IT, NO ONE CAN. 74 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,995 OKAY, I'LL TRY TO MAKE CUTS, BUT NO GUARANTEES. 75 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,565 OKAY, "PERSONAL INFORMATION -- STATE YOUR FULL NAME --" 76 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,600 BETTER NOT GET THAT ONE WRONG! I'LL TRY! 77 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,702 "AND NICKNAME, IF ANY." THAT WOULD BE "RORY." 78 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,004 OR "DROOPY DRAWERS" -- THAT WAS NEVER MY NICKNAME. 79 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,440 WRONG, I CALLED YOU THAT AS A BABY. WHAT? 80 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,609 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU HAD THESE LITTLE OSHKOSH CORDS. 81 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:31,679 THEY WERE TOO BIG. AND ONCE AT THE MALL THEY FELL DOWN. 82 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,547 AND I SAID, "WHOA, THERE, DROOPY DRAWERS." 83 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:36,317 I'M JUST AFRAID THAT IF WE DON'T ANSWER EVERYTHING ACCURATELY, 84 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,552 THE HARVARD POLICE WILL HIT YOU WITH AN ATLAS 85 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,321 AND SAY SOMETHING MEAN IN LATIN. 86 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,556 HOW WOULD THEY KNOW YOU CALL ME DROOPY DRAWERS? 87 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,192 WE COULD BE AT A HARVARD EVENT, AND I'D ACCIDENTALLY SAY, 88 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:49,263 "PASS ME A LOBSTER PUFF, DROOPY DRAWERS." AND THEY'D HEAR ME, AND THAT'LL BE THAT. 89 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,565 HOW ABOUT NOT DRINK AT THESE HARVARD EVENTS? 90 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,802 OKAY, "PARENTAL INFORMATION -- MOTHER." 91 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,003 BREATHTAKING. 92 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,839 I THINK THEY JUST WANT YOUR NAME. "FATHER." 93 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,240 OSTRACIZED. 94 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,242 "PERSONAL STATEMENT." 95 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:04,144 OH, THE ESSAY, THE BIG KAHUNA. 96 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,814 "EVALUATE A SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE THAT'S HAD AN IMPACT ON YOU --" 97 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,850 HOW ABOUT WHEN YOUR DRAWERS DROOPED DOWN? ENOUGH OF THE DRAWERS. 98 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,953 "OR WRITE ABOUT A PERSON WHO'S HAD A SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE ON YOU." 99 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,689 YOU? OR ONE OF YOUR AUTHORS -- FAULKNER... 100 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,725 OR SYLVIA PLATH? MIGHT SEND THE WRONG MESSAGE. 101 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,960 THE "STICKING HER HEAD IN THE OVEN" THING? YEAH. 102 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,195 ALTHOUGH SHE MADE HER KIDS A SNACK FIRST. 103 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,964 SHOWS A CERTAIN MATERNAL INSTINCT. 104 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:27,034 OKAY, I JUST CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS AND AT 2,000 WORDS 105 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,970 AND 25 CENTS A WORD, THE STUPID AD'S GONNA COST $500! 106 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:33,240 THAT'S 5 MONTHS OF MINWAX-ING END TABLES AT THE STORE. I GIVE UP. 107 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:36,644 DON'T GIVE UP. JUST CUT DOWN YOUR INFLUENCES TO THE IMPORTANT ONES, 108 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,646 LIKE WITH DAVID BOWIE -- GOTTA HAVE BOWIE. 109 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:42,750 MUST YOU LIST EVERY ALBUM HE RECORDED AND YOUR PERSONAL RATING BETWEEN ONE AND TEN? 110 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,453 MAYBE NOT. WHAT'S WITH JACKSON BROWNE MAKING THE LIST? 111 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,255 COOL PEOPLE KNOW HE'S MORE THAN A MELLOW, HIPPIE-DIPPIE FOLKIE, 112 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,725 THAT HE ACTUALLY WROTE SOME OF NICO'S BEST SONGS AND WAS HER LOVER 113 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,594 BEFORE BORING US WITH "DOCTOR MY EYES." 114 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,696 THAT WILL SEPARATE THE POSERS FROM THE NON-POSERS. 115 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,698 WAX ON, WAX OFF. I HATE THIS! 116 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,467 OKAY, WHAT ACTIVITIES INTEREST YOU? 117 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:02,770 ALL EXCEPT FOR THE SPORTS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE LACROSSE KID. 118 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:06,306 MOM, JUST A MODICUM OF SERIOUSNESS AS WE DO THIS WOULD BE APPRECIATED. 119 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:09,142 MM. SO, CIRCLE ALL OF THEM EXCEPT SPORTS. 120 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,244 OH, THEY WANT A PICTURE. 121 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:16,249 HOW ABOUT THE ONE WITH US STICKING OUR HEADS THROUGH THE HOLES OF JOHNNY BRAVO? 122 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,685 THERE'S THE SERIOUSNESS I CRAVE. 123 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:22,890 I HAVE TO CRANK THE RAMONES IF I HAVE TO MAKE DEEP CUTS! 124 00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:28,396 WE'LL MOVE OUTSIDE. 125 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,031 THE OUTSIDE'S CONTAMINATED! 126 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:32,866 HM? OH. 127 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,271 THANK YOU. DO THEY LET KIDS DRINK COFFEE BEFORE SCHOOL? 128 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,108 WHY? DO YOU THINK IT MIGHT LEAD TO HARDER STUFF -- 129 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,342 LATTES, CAPPUCCINOS? 130 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,044 FORGET I ASKED. 131 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,180 SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY? JUST MY USUAL CHORES. 132 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,281 YOUR USUAL CHORES, JOHN-BOY? 133 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,584 WHAT ELSE DO YOU CALL "HOUSE JOBS"? 134 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:54,455 I CALL THEM "THE STUFF YOU AVOID UNTIL THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY STEPS IN." 135 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,890 WHY DO YOU ASK? I THOUGHT WE'D SEE A MOVIE. 136 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,893 YOU'RE NOT FREE BECAUSE YOU'LL BE WORKING ON YOUR APPLICATION. 137 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,395 NO, I'M NOT. REALLY? 138 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:05,599 IT'S NOT DUE FOR WEEKS, AND I HAVE THE TOPIC PICKED OUT. WHICH IS? 139 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:06,700 HILLARY CLINTON. 140 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,502 SOUNDS PERFECT. I KNOW. 141 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,837 SHE'S SO SMART AND TOUGH, 142 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,072 NOBODY THOUGHT SHE'D WIN NEW YORK, BUT SHE DID, 143 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,307 AND SHE'S DOING AMAZING. HAVE YOU HEARD HER SPEAK? 144 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,145 ONLY WHEN YOU PLAYED ME THE THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF C-SPAN FOOTAGE YOU TAPED. 145 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,516 SHE'S A GREAT SPEAKER -- STRONG AND PERSUASIVE, WITH A WONDERFUL PRESENCE 146 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,217 AND HER SUITS ARE GETTING BETTER. 147 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:27,488 I'D INCLUDE THAT IN THE ESSAY. ANYHOW, NOW THAT I HAVE HILLARY, 148 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,623 I JUST NEED A DATE FOR SATURDAY. SUGGESTIONS? 149 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,992 YOU'RE ON. GREAT. 150 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,495 OH, THERE'S MY BUS. SIP. 151 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,864 KISS. 152 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,999 AND BYE. BYE. 153 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,205 FAST RUNNER. IT'S THE COFFEE. 154 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,474 NOT YOUR FACE? EXCUSE ME? 155 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,741 SORRY, JUST MISSED MY YOUTH 156 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,777 FOR A SECOND. I'M BACK. COFFEE? 157 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:57,117 [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] 158 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,494 EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THAT. THIS IS MY SPEAKING VOICE. 159 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,295 THIS IS ITS NATURAL VOLUME. 160 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,498 FINE! FINE! 161 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,500 SHORT-SIGHTED MORONS! WHAT NOW, PARIS? 162 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:17,370 WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY WE SET UP THIS SEMINAR. I SAY WE, BUT I DID MOST OF THE WORK. 163 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,439 MR. HUNTER WON'T LET ME DO IT MY WAY. 164 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:22,710 THE PANELISTS ARE THERE. WE SIT AND ASK QUESTIONS. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 165 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,713 IT'S BORING AND PREDICTABLE. I WANTED CHARLIE ROSE. 166 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,548 TO ASK THE QUESTIONS? HIS STYLE -- 167 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,583 I WANTED A ROUND TABLE WITH BLACK BACKDROPS. 168 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,251 THE AUDIENCE WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE. 169 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:35,022 THE LOSERS IN THE A-V CLUB CAN PROJECT IT ON A GIANT VIDEO SCREEN. 170 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,792 AND ALL MR. HUNTER SAID WAS, PARIS "THIS ISN'T THE BEATLES AT SHEA STADIUM." 171 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,962 NICE ANACHRONISM, HUH? LIKE THEY HAD VIDEO SCREENS IN '65. 172 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,031 HIS REFERENCES ARE AS TOPICAL AS HIS SUITS. 173 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:47,501 EVERYONE, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE, WE CAN GET THE SEMINAR STARTED. 174 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,503 I'D LIKE TO BRING UP THE ORGANIZERS. 175 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:52,673 PARIS GELLAR AND RORY GILMORE. 176 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,278 THANK YOU, MR. HUNTER. 177 00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,980 EVERYBODY, THIS IS A SEMINAR 178 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,649 CALLED "THE BUSINESS OF GETTING IN." 179 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,284 ITS GOAL IS TO HELP GUIDE US THROUGH THE TORTUOUS PROCESS 180 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,387 OF APPLYING TO AND GETTING INTO THE RIGHT COLLEGE. 181 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,122 MY PANELISTS ARE JIM ROMAINE, 182 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,291 ADMISSIONS OFFICER AT PRINCETON UNIVERSITY, 183 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:14,595 AND IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE CONSULTANT ROSE SAMUELS. 184 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:17,831 WELCOME, PANEL. YES, WELCOME. 185 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,167 NOW, PANEL, YOU'RE ADDRESSING A GROUP OF KIDS 186 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,436 JUST BEGINNING THE STRESSFUL PROCESS OF APPLYING TO COLLEGE. 187 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:27,575 QUESTION -- WHAT IS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE A PERSON CAN MAKE 188 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,110 ON HIS OR HER APPLICATION? MR. ROMAINE? 189 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,847 WELL, FORGETTING TO SEND IT IN WOULD BE THE WORST MISTAKE. 190 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,283 BUT PERFUNCTORY ANSWERS WOULD BE HIGH ON MY LIST. 191 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,685 EXPLAIN. 192 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,620 I'M TALKING ABOUT RUN-OF-THE-MILL RESPONSES, 193 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,054 A LACK OF ORIGINALITY, 194 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,190 PARTICULARLY IN THE ESSAY CATEGORY. 195 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,693 IF I READ ONE MORE OVER-ADULATING PIECE OF PROSE 196 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,361 ABOUT HILLARY CLINTON AND HER PROFOUND INFLUENCE, 197 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,997 MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE. 198 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,833 I HEAR THAT. SOMETIMES A MISTAKE LIKE THAT COMES FROM WRITING 199 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,335 WHAT ONE THINKS AN ADMISSION OFFICER WANTS TO READ, 200 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,937 BIG MISTAKE. AND SOMETIMES 201 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,372 IT'S LACK OF ORIGINAL THOUGHT. JUST AS BIG A MISTAKE. 202 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:03,744 PERSONAL ANECDOTE. WHEN I WAS 12 AND I WAS WRITING THE FIRST OF MY TRIAL ESSAYS 203 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,779 IN PRACTICE FOR THE DAY I REALLY WOULD. 204 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,547 I CHOSE HILLARY CLINTON. 205 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:11,018 THEN I REALIZED, EVERY BINT IN A SKIRT WOULD BE WRITING ABOUT HILLARY, 206 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,653 IT'S GOOD TO CLEAR THE PIPES. 207 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,622 NOW, WHAT ARE SOME OTHER MISTAKES? 208 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:18,992 WELL, SMALL THING, BUT IF YOUR PRINTING IS BAD, THAT SAYS SOMETHING WE DON'T LIKE. 209 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,161 IF YOUR EXTRACURRICULARS AND VOLUNTEER ACTIVITIES 210 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,997 ARE TOO "BY THE BOOK," THAT SAYS SOMETHING WE DON'T LIKE. 211 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,768 YES, THOSE ACTIVITIES SHOULD HAVE A PERSONALITY BEHIND THEM, 212 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,170 A FOCUS, A DIRECTION. I'VE SEEN APPLICATIONS 213 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,572 WHERE THE STUDENT HAS CIRCLED EVERY ACTIVITY LISTED. 214 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,507 AGAIN, YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD THERE. 215 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,343 ONE CAN'T BE INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING. 216 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,411 THEY'RE THE ONES WHO'VE HAD COLLEGE PARAPHERNALIA 217 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,880 ON THEIR WALLS THEIR WHOLE LIVES. 218 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,282 TOO HUNGRY. IT'S A LITTLE IMMATURE. 219 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,918 INTERESTING. INTERESTING. 220 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,688 RORY, DO YOU WANT TO ASK A QUESTION? 221 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,690 NO. WHAT? 222 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,324 NO. THANK YOU. 223 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,826 OKAY. 224 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:56,163 SO, HOW EARLY SHOULD A STUDENT GET AN APPLICATION IN? 225 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,632 BY THE DUE DATE. EARLIER MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. 226 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:02,235 IT'S A MYTH THAT THERE'S A BENEFIT TO BE DERIVED FROM EARLY ADMISSION. 227 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:05,138 I DO THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT THE INTERVIEW PROCESS 228 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:08,642 I BELIEVE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO WEED OUT THE HYPER-INTENSE CANDIDATE. 229 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:12,379 SHE'S MEETING YOU HERE? SHE HAD A THING AFTER SCHOOL, RUMBLE OR SOMETHING. 230 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,814 SHE'D BE OVER AFTER. A RUMBLE? 231 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,448 A BUNCH OF KIDS IN AN ALLEY, 232 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,918 THEY PIROUETTE, THEY PULL KNIVES -- IT'S A WHOLE TO-DO. 233 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,888 SO, SHE'S MEETING YOU HERE. YES, SHE'S MEETING US HERE. 234 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,791 WHERE'S DAD? THE MAGAZINES! 235 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:26,727 THAT WAS...WEIRD AND UNRESPONSIVE. 236 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:29,562 THESE ARE COLLEGE ISSUES OF VARIOUS MAGAZINES. 237 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,398 I'VE BEEN COLLECTING THEM FOR MONTHS NOW. 238 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,633 RORY'S PROBABLY SEEN ALL THOSE, BUT THANKS ANYWAY. 239 00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,135 HAVE YOU READ THESE? NO. 240 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:38,471 WELL, YOU SHOULD. I'VE UNEARTHED SOME SHOCKING STATISTICS. 241 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,642 I MEAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HOT THE COMPETITION IS TO GET INTO HARVARD? 242 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:46,313 WELL, YEAH, IT'S VERY HOT. IT'S ONE OF THE TOP SCHOOLS IN THE COUNTRY. 243 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,883 IN THE WORLD! PEOPLE FROM CHINA, RUSSIA, INDIA -- 244 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,019 CHILDREN FROM EVERY COUNTRY APPLY TO HARVARD. 245 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,754 THERE'S MORE COMPETITION THAN EVER BEFORE. 246 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,723 REALLY? MOM, I KNOW ALL THIS. 247 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,358 WITH THE DOT-COM BUST AND THE JOB MARKET DWINDLING, 248 00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:01,194 AND THE STOCK MARKET GOING UP AND DOWN LIKE A YO-YO, 249 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,296 EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEST CHANCE FOR SUCCESS 250 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,565 AND FINANCIAL SECURITY IS NOT JUST ATTENDING COLLEGE, 251 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,267 BUT TO GO TO A TOP COLLEGE. 252 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,102 THANK YOU. GOT IT. APPRECIATE THE INFO. 253 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,939 EVERY CHILD THAT APPLIES HAS THE SAME HIGH GRADE-POINT AVERAGE. 254 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,809 THEY'VE TAKEN THE SAME A.P. CLASSES AND THEY'RE ALL ON THE STUDENT COUNCIL. 255 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,110 THEY'RE NOT ALL THAT IDENTICAL. 256 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,946 ONE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS OFFICER SAID 257 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,014 THAT HE SOMETIMES PUTS A RANDOM STACK OF APPLICATIONS 258 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:25,685 IN THE "YES" PILE AND THE REST IN THE "NO" PILE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE. 259 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,320 HE DOESN'T EVEN GLANCE AT THEM. 260 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,989 THAT DOES NOT SOUND REAL. 261 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:32,893 NOW, IT'S THE IN THING FOR YOUNG HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES TO GO TO UNIVERSITIES. 262 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,928 WHAT DO THEY CALL THEMSELVES -- "THE BRAT PACK"? 263 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,496 OH, ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. 264 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,466 THEY GET INTO WHEREVER THEY WANT BASED ON NAME RECOGNITION. 265 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,135 I WAS WATCHING TV, AND THAT INSIPID KATE HUDSON 266 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,971 WAS TALKING ABOUT GOING TO A UNIVERSITY. 267 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,440 IF SHE DECIDES TO GO TO HARVARD, SHE'LL GET RIGHT IN OVER RORY, 268 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,942 WHO WE KNOW IS MORE QUALIFIED. 269 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,812 HOW ABOUT A DRINK? YOU WANT TO DRINK? 'CAUSE I DO. 270 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,847 LORELAI, HOLD ON! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 271 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:57,350 MOM, THERE IS NO "WE,". IT'S ME -- ME AND RORY -- THAT'S THE "WE." 272 00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,353 I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN AND YOUR PRODIGIOUS RESEARCH, 273 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,723 BUT IT'S ALL GONNA BE FINE. RORY'S SPECIAL. 274 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,292 YOU AND I KNOW THAT, 275 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,295 BUT THOSE IDIOTS AT HARVARD MAY NOT NECESSARILY KNOW THAT. 276 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,362 Rory: HELLO? 277 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,964 WE'RE IN HER AND HURRY. 278 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,933 HI, GRANDMA. HELLO, RORY. YOU LOOK FLUSHED. 279 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:18,005 I RAN FROM THE BUS STOP. MOM, HEY, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU. CAN I TALK TO YOU? 280 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,941 IS SOMETHING WRONG? NO, I JUST NEED TO TALK TO MOM. 281 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,643 WE'LL BE QUICK. WE'LL BE BACK. 282 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,678 I'M NOT GETTING INTO HARVARD. WHAT? WHO SAYS? 283 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,381 WELL, I'M COMPLETELY UNPREPARED, AND I HAVE NO ORIGINAL THOUGHTS. 284 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:31,418 NO. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'S THOSE JERKS AT HARVARD. 285 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,853 I HATE THEM. WHAT? 286 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,687 APPARENTLY IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW QUALIFIED YOU ARE. 287 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,657 THOSE LAZY-ASS ADMISSIONS OFFICERS JUST TAKE APPLICATIONS 288 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,928 STICKING IT IN "YES" AND "NO" PILES WITHOUT EVEN GLANCING AT THEM! 289 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,230 IT WON'T MATTER BECAUSE MY HILLARY CLINTON ESSAY 290 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,198 WILL BE LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL'S ESSAY 291 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,935 BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S ALL WE CAN THINK OF. 292 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:51,004 DOES EVERYONE HAVE THE SAME G.P.A? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 293 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,973 BECAUSE WE ALL TAKE THE SAME CLASSES 294 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,408 AND WE ALL GIVE THE SAME PERFUNCTORY RUN-OF-THE-MILL RESPONSES. 295 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,245 I'M INTERESTED IN TOO MANY THINGS. I HAVE TO LIMIT THEM. 296 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,280 I'M GONNA CIRCLE "TRAVEL" ON MY APPLICATION. 297 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:03,550 THAT IS WHAT I'M INTERESTED IN. CIAO. NO, DON'T DO THAT, NO. 298 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,718 BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE COMING FROM CHINA AND INDIA -- 299 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,421 GOD KNOWS WHERE ELSE. THEY'RE ALL NUTS FOR TRAVELING. 300 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,589 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE HERE. 301 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,658 AND JOBS ARE DROPPING AND DOT-COM BOMBING. 302 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,294 SOMETHING'S ACTING LIKE A YO-YO, BUT IT'S NOT GOOD -- 303 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,464 AND OVER MY DEAD BODY IS KATE HUDSON GETTING YOUR SPOT. 304 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,699 MOM, YOU'RE FREAKING OUT! YES! I'M FREAKING OUT. 305 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,001 YOU CAN'T, I'M FREAKING OUT. 306 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,736 [CELLPHONE RINGS] HELLO? 307 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,407 WHAT DID ROMAINE MEAN WHEN HE WAS GOING ON ABOUT WEEDING OUT THE HYPER-INTENSE? 308 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,442 HE STOPPED SHORT OF CALLING ME BY NAME. 309 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,079 NOT NOW, PARIS. I TRIED THROWING THE QUESTIONING TO YOU 310 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,148 BECAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO HEAVE SO, I CAME HOME TO HEAVE. 311 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,749 WE'LL TALK TOMORROW, PARIS. WAIT! 312 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,418 OKAY, WE GOTTA CALM DOWN HERE. 313 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,787 SO, SET AN EXAMPLE. HEY, I'M HUMAN TOO. 314 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,155 MY FOREHEAD IS BURNING UP. 315 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,891 MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST. 316 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,893 OKAY, LET'S TAKE A BREATH. 317 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:46,894 OKAY. [ INHALES ] 318 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,295 [ EXHALES ] 319 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,497 THIS FREAKING OUT IS NOT GOOD. IT SUCKS. 320 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,066 WE CAN DO THIS. IF OTHERS CAN, WE CAN! 321 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,202 I'M NOT SO SURE ANYMORE. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. 322 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,304 I WON'T ACCEPT IT. THEN WE WON'T! 323 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,139 WHAT DO WE DO? I DON'T KNOW! 324 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,974 WE DEFINITELY NEED SOME SORT OF PERSPECTIVE. 325 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,043 I THINK WE NEED THERAPY. AND BOOZE... 326 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,278 FOR THOSE OF US OVER 21. 327 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,448 OKAY, ARE WE CALMING? ARE WE LESS FREAKED? 328 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,382 I'M TOTALLY FREAKED OUT. 329 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,218 WE'LL, HIDE IT! I CAN'T HIDE IT! 330 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,086 THEN PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MAGAZINE RECITATIONS 331 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,722 BY EMILY DJ-DO MEISTER GILMORE. 332 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,390 I'LL HIDE IT. 333 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,931 [PHONE RINGING] 334 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,435 HELLO? 335 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,504 NO. LANE SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. IS THIS ABOUT THE AD? 336 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:35,042 WELL, GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER AND SHE'LL CALL YOU BACK. 337 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,443 OKAY, THEN, WHAT'S THE NUMBER 338 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,112 OF THE DUDE WHOSE COUCH YOU'RE SLEEPING ON? 339 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,081 OH, DUDE DOESN'T HAVE A PHONE? 340 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,350 WELL, TRY BACK LATER, DUDE. THANKS. 341 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,585 RORY, ARE YOU UP? IF NOT, GET UP! 342 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,255 AND WHERE'S LANE? SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE FIELDING THESE. 343 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,658 HELLO? NO, SHE'S NOT. MAY I TAKE A MESSAGE? 344 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,560 WAIT A MINUTE. SHE'S HERE. 345 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:54,995 SORRY. 346 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,663 THIS IS LANE. 347 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,998 HEY! HEY. 348 00:14:58,065 --> 00:14:59,166 OH, WHAT'S UP? 349 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,833 I DIDN'T SLEEP SO WELL. 350 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,002 POOR THING. 351 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:03,670 I'M FINE. I'M JUST A LITTLE BUMMED. 352 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,839 NO. WAIT, PROGRESSIVE ROCK IS A REALLY PASSE STYLE NOW, 353 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,110 BUT I LISTED IT AS AN INFLUENCE BECAUSE IT WAS A PROGENITOR 354 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,578 OF GREAT THINGS THAT CAME AFTERWARDS. 355 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,813 I CONTEND THAT YOU COULD DRAW A STRAIGHT LINE 356 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:19,052 FROM YES TO JETHRO TULL TO THE JAM TO NIRVANA. BING BANG BOOM. 357 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,988 "WHO ARE THE JAM?" 358 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:23,356 THAT'S DISTURBING. 359 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,392 HEY, MAYBE INSTEAD OF GOING TO COLLEGE, 360 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,627 YOU SHOULD DROP OUT, AND I'LL QUIT MY JOB, 361 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:31,098 WE COULD FORM A GIRL BAND WITH LANE -- YOU KNOW, LIKE BANANARAMA? 362 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,333 WE COULD CALL IT... TANGERINARAMA 363 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,504 OR BANANA-FANA-FO-FANA-RAMA OR SOMETHING. 364 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,739 I'M JUST KIDDING. YOU GOTTA GO TO COLLEGE. 365 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,741 I'M UP FOR ANYTHING AT THIS POINT. 366 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,376 I GOTTA GO. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 367 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,345 FEEL BETTER, OKAY? I WILL. 368 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,148 YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME THAT YOU DID NOT KNOW 369 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:51,018 THAT KIM DEAL WAS IN THE PIXIES BEFORE THE BREEDERS! 370 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,386 I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT. 371 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,156 THESE KIDS HAVE NO SENSE OF HISTORY! 372 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,692 HEY, TOM, WHAT'S UP? NOTHING MUCH. 373 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,129 GET ME A HAM ON RYE, MUSTARD, NO MAYO. 374 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,097 YOU GOT IT. HI. 375 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,332 YOU GOT MONEY? YES, SIR. 376 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,167 WHAT CAN I GET YOU? LET'S SEE. 377 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,335 A COLD EGG CREAM? 378 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,170 A WHAT CREAM? AN EGG CREAM. 379 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,604 WHAT IS THAT? A COLD ONE. 380 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,806 IT'S MILK AND SODA WATER WITH FLAVORING. 381 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,242 YOU'RE ASKING ME? NICE AND COLD. 382 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,277 I HEARD. WE'D GET 'EM AT CONEY ISLAND. 383 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,012 GO TO CONEY ISLAND. 384 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,313 SIR, CAN I GET SOMETHING? 385 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,149 YOU GOT MONEY? WHAT DO YOU WANT? 386 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,983 A BLACK COW. OH, NOW. COME ON! 387 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,685 IT'S ROOT BEER AND ICE CREAM. 388 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,320 IS THAT IT? I CAN DO THAT. 389 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,057 AS LONG AS THE ICE CREAM'S MADE THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 390 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,424 NOW, WAIT A SECOND -- 391 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,260 CAN YOU WHIP ME UP SOMETHING FAST? 392 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,162 WHAT, KIRK? A CHOCOLATE PHOSPHATE. 393 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,464 WHAT IS THIS?! WHY DO YOU WANT A PHOSPHATE? 394 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,632 BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS REFRESHMENT LIKE A PHOSPHATE. 395 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,302 IS TAYLOR BEHIND THIS? I'M NOT AT LIBERTY TO SAY. 396 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,372 THEN YOU TELL ME, AND IF YOU LIE, YOU'LL GO TO HELL. 397 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:49,409 HE DIDN'T SAY YOU'D GET MAD. COME ON! 398 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,284 WHAT IS THIS? THAT'S MY QUESTION. 399 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,319 WHAT'S GOING ON? I HAVE NO IDEA. 400 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:03,390 THEY'RE ASKING FOR PHOSPHATES AND EGG CREAMS AND BLACK COWS, THEY ALREADY GAVE YOU UP, 401 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,525 SO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON. WHO FINKED? 402 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,127 HIM. WELL, YOU DID. SNITCH. 403 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,196 IT'S NOT THE KID'S FAULT. WHAT'S THIS ABOUT? 404 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,864 YOU ARE SO CLOSED-MINDED TO NEW THINGS, LUKE, 405 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,367 THAT I DECIDED TO MAKE AN ADMITTEDLY DESPERATE ATTEMPT 406 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,403 TO CONVINCE YOU OF THE NEED FOR SOMETHING 407 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,538 THAT I THINK IS A TERRIFIC IDEA -- 408 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,407 WHICH IS. AN OLD-FASHIONED, 409 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,442 TURN-OF-THE-CENTURY SODA SHOP. 410 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,843 AY-YI-YI-YI-YI. 411 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,479 IT'S JUST THE KIND OF WHOLESOME HANG TODAY'S TEENS NEED 412 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,715 TO KEEP THEM OFF THE STREETS. 413 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,184 AND OUR STREETS ARE SO WILD? 414 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:35,021 IF YOU ASK ME, YES, AND I HAVE PROOF. 415 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,957 WHAT ARE THESE? SURVEILLANCE PHOTOS OF TOWN GOINGS-ON -- 416 00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:41,027 THE DARK SIDE OF STARS HOLLOW, LUKE -- NOT A PRETTY PICTURE. 417 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:42,295 THESE ARE KIDS ON SKATEBOARDS. 418 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,663 SLALOMING AROUND POP BOTTLES 419 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,898 DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. I'M TELLING YOU! 420 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,868 IF WE DON'T QUIT FURNISHING THESE SKATEBOARDING Z-BOYS 421 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,337 WITH A MORAL DISTRACTION, 422 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,005 THEY'RE GOING TO TURN STARS HOLLOW INTO DOGTOWN! 423 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,041 THIS IS NEXT TO THE DINER. I KNOW. 424 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,009 I OWN THAT SPACE. I KNOW. 425 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:01,148 YOU WANNA OPEN A SODA SHOP NEXT TO THE DINER? IT'S THE ONLY ONE APPROPRIATE. 426 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,383 TAYLOR, NO, NO, NO, AND EVERY DAY, 427 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,418 FROM NOW TILL THE END OF MY LIFE, 428 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,654 I AM GOING TO COME AND SAY, "TAYLOR, NO." 429 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,523 WHEN I DIE, I'M GONNA BE FROZEN NEXT TO TED WILLIAMS. 430 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,993 WHEN THEY FIND THE CURE TO WHAT I DIED OF AND UNFREEZE ME, 431 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,628 MY FIRST WORDS WILL BE "HOW'S TED?" 432 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,030 FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY "TAYLOR, NO!" 433 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,899 BUT THE SPACE IS EMPTY! NOT FOR LONG! 434 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,969 AND WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR IT? A SKATEBOARD AND POP-BOTTLE SHOP. 435 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:27,140 THAT'S NOT FUNNY. WITH IN-HOUSE EXPERTS TO TEACH THE CRAFT OF STREET SLALOMING. 436 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,275 STILL NOT FUNNY. 437 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,410 I'M NOT IN A VERY FUNNY MOOD! 438 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,811 LUKE, ARE YOU TAKING APPLICATIONS 439 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,046 FOR JOBS AT YOUR SKATEBOARD AND BOTTLE SHOP? 440 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,648 YEAH. I'M INTERVIEWING PEOPLE TODAY, KIRK. 441 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,084 SHALL I GO AND CHANGE OR WILL CASUAL SUFFICE? 442 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,319 I LIKE THE GOING-HOME PART. 443 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,653 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 444 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,857 HEY. HEY. 445 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,494 GUESS WHO I HAD A VERY PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATION WITH TODAY -- 446 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,262 HEADMASTER CHARLESTON. YOU'RE KIDDING. 447 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,564 NO. I THINK WE CAME UP WITH A SOLUTION 448 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,865 TO OUR APPLICATION ANXIETY. 449 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,601 WANNA HEAR IT? I GUESS. 450 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,036 WE SPENT 10 MINUTES ON HIM BUGGING ME TO VOLUNTEER 451 00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:01,308 FOR MORE STUFF AT SCHOOL OR TO MAKE A DONATION TO BUILD A NEW BASKETBALL COURT 452 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,042 AND THEN OF ME CONVINCING HIM 453 00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,677 THAT WHAT SOUNDED LIKE ME GOING "HAH!" 454 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,646 WAS REALLY ME CLEARING MY THROAT, 455 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,015 AFTER THAT, WE HAD A VERY PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATION. 456 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,583 AND? 457 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,019 HE SUGGESTED SETTING UP A MEETING WITH A HARVARD GRADUATE, 458 00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:16,289 LIKE A DINNER OR SOMETHING. HE EVEN GAVE ME A PHONE NUMBER. 459 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,024 AN ALUMNI DINNER? YES, EXACTLY. 460 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:22,061 DO THEY DO THAT? APPARENTLY, IT'S DONE ALL THE TIME. 461 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:26,065 WE COULD TALK WITH SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THROUGH IT ALL AND DID IT SUCCESSFULLY. 462 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,501 YOU CAN ASK QUESTIONS. HE CAN GIVE SOME PERSPECTIVE. 463 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,136 IT SEEMS PERFECT. SOUNDS WEIRD. 464 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,004 A LITTLE. I'LL GO WITH YOU, 465 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,941 WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? WE'RE BORED AND BLOW A MEAL, 466 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,644 IF HE CAN HELP, THEN THAT'S A GOOD THING, RIGHT? 467 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,112 I DO HAVE SOME QUESTIONS -- A LOT OF QUESTIONS. 468 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,348 WELL, LET'S CALL HIM. 469 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,782 NOW? YES. YES. 470 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,117 THERE'S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. COME ON. 471 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,986 HIS NAME IS DARREN SPRINGSTEEN 472 00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,956 OF WESTPORT, CONNECTICUT, HARVARD CLASS OF '74. 473 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,626 DOES HE HAVE A BROTHER NAMED BRUCE. I'M NOT GONNA ASK HIM THAT. 474 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,464 IT'S RINGING. [GIGGLES] 475 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,099 WHY'D YOU HANG UP? I'M NOT GOOD AT THESE THINGS! 476 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,701 DID HE ANSWER? YES. 477 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,304 YES?! RORY, THAT'S A REALLY TERRIBLE FIRST IMPRESSION! 478 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,338 [PHONE RINGING] 479 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,439 UH-OH. HIM? 480 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,040 MAYBE. HE STAR-69'd US? 481 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:10,477 THE HARVARD PEOPLE CAN AFFORD ALL THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY. 482 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,545 [ BEEP ] ANSWER. 483 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,682 YOU'VE REACHED SUFFRAGETTE CITY. IF YOU'RE CALLING ABOUT LANE KIM'S AD, 484 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,117 SORRY, WE'RE NOT IN. DON'T COMMIT ROCK AND ROLL SUICIDE, 485 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,787 JUST CRANK A MESSAGE AT THE FEEDBACK. OH, JEEZ. 486 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,556 IF HE IS RELATED TO BRUCE, HE COULD DIG IT. 487 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,792 Hey, I'm Dave Rygalski. I'm calling about the ad. 488 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:30,430 I left my number before. So, call when you get a chance. Bye. 489 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:31,531 LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN. 490 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:32,965 CAN WE DO THIS LATER? 491 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,201 NO, LET'S GET IT DONE NOW. 492 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:36,469 IT'S RINGING. 493 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,338 LET'S DO IT LATER. IT'S RINGING! 494 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,973 I'M GONNA SAY THE WRONG THING OR HAVE THE WRONG TONE. 495 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,209 I'M NOT IN GOOD FIRST-IMPRESSION MODE RIGHT NOW. 496 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,413 MA-- HELLO. 497 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,247 [ High-pitched voice ] HELLO, THIS IS RORY GILMORE. 498 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:50,082 I BELIEVE YOU WERE EXPECTING MY CALL. 499 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:54,854 UM, WELL, THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY FOR ME. 500 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,188 WHATEVER'S GOOD FOR YOU. 501 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,657 NOT SO BREATHY. 502 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,526 [ Normal voice ] THAT'S HOW CHICKENS TALK! 503 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,461 [ High-pitched voice ] LUNCH? OH, YES. 504 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,896 LET ME JUST CHECK MY ORGANIZER. 505 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,499 OH, PERFECT. MY MOTHER WILL BE THERE, TOO. 506 00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,934 SHE'S TERRIFIC. 507 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,603 ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND. 508 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:11,738 BYE. 509 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,973 YOU'RE NO DANNY GANS. I NEVER CLAIMED TO BE. 510 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,276 HE'S GOING TO BE EXPECTING CHILTON HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR TRIXIE McBIMBO. 511 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,511 AND HER MOTHER, BAMBI McBIMBO. 512 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,946 I GUESS IT CAN'T HURT. 513 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,814 IT CAN ONLY HELP. OKAY. 514 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:26,285 IF IT'S A BUST, WE'LL GRAB A POLE AND TRIXIE AND BAMBI'LL TAKE IT ON THE ROAD. 515 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,120 THAT'S SOMETHING TO PUT ON YOUR APPLICATION. 516 00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:29,356 THANKS, MOM. 517 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,358 [ High-pitched voice ] BYE, TRIXIE. 518 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:37,597 SO, ALUMNA IS A GIRL GRADUATE AND ALUMNUS IS A MAN. 519 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,399 SINGULAR. SO, AN UNMARRIED MAN? 520 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:40,533 NO, NOT NOT MARRIED. 521 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,968 HE CAN BE MARRIED OR SINGLE. 522 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,404 ALL ALUMNUS MEANS IS ONE MAN, SINGULAR 523 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:45,838 AS OPPOSED TO MANY MEN, PLURAL. 524 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,273 AND PLURAL IS ALUMNI. RIGHT. 525 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:48,708 THAT CAN BE GIRLS AND GUYS. 526 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,843 KINKY. NOT KINKY, JUST WHAT IT IS. 527 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,679 YOU'RE NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE NERVOUS. 528 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,914 YES, BECAUSE WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH LATIN. 529 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,816 DO WE CALL THIS GUY, "ALUMNUS DARREN" -- 530 00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:59,452 LIKE YOU'D SAY "FARMER JOHN" OR "THE BUTCHER LAZAR WOLF"? 531 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:00,920 ISHKABIBBLE. 532 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,890 HELLO THERE. HELLO, I'M LORELAI GILMORE. 533 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,525 DARREN SPRINGSTEEN. NICE TO MEET YOU. 534 00:22:05,592 --> 00:22:07,760 AND THIS MUST BE THE REASON WE'RE ALL HERE. 535 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,829 HELLO. I HOPE WE'RE NOT PUTTING YOU OUT. 536 00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:12,465 PUTTING US OUT? TODAY YOU ARE THE SPRINGSTEEN FAMILY'S 537 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,367 RAISON D'ETRE. COME IN. COME IN. 538 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:17,203 WAS YOUR DRIVE LONG? NOT TOO. 539 00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:20,540 STARS HOLLOW IS CHARMING. THE LAST TIME WE DROVE THROUGH THERE, 540 00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,375 THERE WAS A PUMPKIN PATCH... SOUNDS LIKE US. 541 00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:25,412 ...IN MARCH. THAT WOULD BE THE YEAR THE PUMPKINS ARRIVED LATE. 542 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,846 SOUNDS LIKE A DR. SEUSS BOOK. 543 00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:28,481 YOU CAME BEARING GIFTS? WHAT? 544 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:31,518 OH, THIS. NO, THIS IS NOT A GIFT. 545 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,953 THESE ARE MY RECORDS -- GRADES, S.A.T.s. 546 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,054 IT'S RORY IN A BAG. 547 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,089 YOU ADD WATER, AND HER BRILLIANCE SPRINGS OUT. 548 00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,526 WHY DON'T I JUST GLANCE AT THIS SOME OTHER TIME? 549 00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:43,396 THIS AFTERNOON, WHY DON'T WE JUST TALK AND GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER, OKAY? 550 00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,897 YOU'RE A VERY NICE ALUMNI. 551 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,265 THANKS. 552 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:48,034 THAT'S THE PLURAL. OH, RATS! 553 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,368 LORELAI, RORY, 554 00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:50,837 SAY HELLO TO MARIE, MY WIFE. 555 00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:53,205 HELLO. SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERE. 556 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:54,474 HI. THANK YOU. 557 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,476 HOW ABOUT DRINKS -- ICED TEA, WATER? 558 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:58,578 ICED TEA'S GOOD. SAME HERE. 559 00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:00,346 YOU LIKE ART, RORY? VERY MUCH. 560 00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:02,449 MODERN PAINTING IS MY PASSION. 561 00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:04,250 I'VE GOT A HOCKNEY, A KLINE. 562 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,918 WHAT I DON'T HAVE IS A DIEBENKORN, 563 00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:07,787 SO PLEASE DON'T ASK, "WHERE'S THE DIEBENKORN?" 564 00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,656 OH, YOU WARNED ME JUST IN TIME! 565 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,558 ONLY RECENTLY GOT INTO SCULPTURE. 566 00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:14,561 MY LATEST ACQUISITION, IT'S A ZOLTAN KEMENY -- 567 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:15,828 VERY PROVOCATIVE. 568 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,630 DON'T YOU JUST LOVE ITS AUDACITY? 569 00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,065 YES, IT'S VERY AUDACIOUS. 570 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:21,568 SO WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR OTHER INTERESTS, RORY? 571 00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:23,836 OH, WELL, PULL UP A COMFY CHAIR THERE, DARREN, 572 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,905 BECAUSE THEY ARE WIDESPREAD AND EXTENSIVE. 573 00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:28,240 I READ A LOT. I'M INTO THE RUSSIANS LATELY. 574 00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:31,343 TOLSTOY? TURGENEV? GOGOL'S MY THING RIGHT NOW. "DEAD SOULS." 575 00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,912 ONE OF MY FAVORITES. 576 00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:35,882 WEREN'T YOU READING THAT WHEN WE GOT YOUR HARVARD APPLICATION? 577 00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,484 YES. YES, I WAS. 578 00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:40,487 I SAW THAT HARVARD LOGO ON THE ENVELOPE, AND I SAID, 579 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:43,756 "RORY, GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF YOUR GOGOL AND GET OVER HERE!" 580 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,593 WE HAVE A TV SOMEWHERE, BUT IT'S MORE OF A TABLE 581 00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:49,662 TO PUT A CUP OF CHAI TEA ON. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 582 00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:53,533 I WATCH WAY TOO MANY SPORTS, AND I GO TO ALL THE HARVARD GAMES. 583 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,635 DO YOU LIKE SPORTS? NO. YES. 584 00:23:55,702 --> 00:23:57,704 THAT IS, WE FOLLOW CERTAIN THINGS. 585 00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:01,574 WE ENJOY VARIOUS ASPECTS OF CERTAIN SPORTING ENDEAVORS. 586 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,009 BUT IT WOULDN'T BE THE KIND 587 00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:05,244 THAT YOU COULD ASK ANY FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS ON. 588 00:24:05,311 --> 00:24:06,813 IT'S A GENERAL INTEREST. 589 00:24:06,879 --> 00:24:09,048 GOT IT. IT'S PRETTY MUCH A WASTE OF TIME, 590 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:11,684 BUT IT'S HOW I WASTE MY TIME. I COLLECT MEMORABILIA, TOO. 591 00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:14,854 I'VE GOT EACH YEAR'S HARVARD TEAM PENNANT GOING BACK TO 1927. 592 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,889 LOTS OF DISPLAYED HARVARD PARAPHERNALIA, HUH? 593 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:19,158 IT'S ALL OVER THE WALLS AT THE REC ROOM. 594 00:24:19,225 --> 00:24:21,494 SEE, SEE. LOTS OF PARAPHERNALIA. WATCH THE RIBS. 595 00:24:21,561 --> 00:24:22,862 AH, HERE ARE THE KIDS. 596 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:24,797 JACK, JENNIFER, THIS IS LORELAI AND RORY. 597 00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,633 HI, THERE. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 598 00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:27,800 LIKEWISE. HI. 599 00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:29,268 JACK'S PREMED AT PRINCETON, 600 00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:31,971 AND JENNIFER'S BOUND FOR HARVARD, LIKE YOU, RORY. 601 00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:35,274 OH! WE SHOULD TALK! SURE. 602 00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:37,209 IF NOT TODAY, ANOTHER DAY, OKAY? OKAY. 603 00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:40,647 DO YOU WANNA PICK A TIME NOW OR LATER? LATER'S FINE. 604 00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:42,682 I'LL MAKE A NOTE IN MY PALM PILOT. 605 00:24:42,749 --> 00:24:44,483 COOL. HERE ARE YOUR TEAS. 606 00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:46,018 THANK YOU. 607 00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:48,588 DARREN, WE SHOULD REALLY GET THE CHICKEN GOING. RIGHT. 608 00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:50,422 YOU'RE GETTING MY FAMOUS CHICKEN TODAY. 609 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:51,691 I HOPE YOU LIKE CHICKEN. 610 00:24:51,758 --> 00:24:53,125 LOVE IT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 611 00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:54,827 THERE'S SOME OF MY HARVARD YEARBOOKS. 612 00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:56,829 PERUSE THEM, IF YOU LIKE. OH. 613 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:59,532 JEN, WE SHOULD GO CLEAN UP. MM, DEFINITELY. 614 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,734 I WILL SEE YOU IN A JIFF. 615 00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:03,970 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 616 00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:05,204 EW. WHAT? 617 00:25:05,271 --> 00:25:07,640 DID THEY JUST LEAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER TOGETHER? 618 00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:09,542 OH, GROSS. WHAT THEY BOUNCED IN TOGETHER, 619 00:25:09,609 --> 00:25:10,810 THEY BOUNCED OUT TOGETHER. 620 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,579 NEW TOPIC. CAN'T TAKE GRITTY REALITY? 621 00:25:12,645 --> 00:25:14,446 OR SLANDEROUS POSTULATING. 622 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,716 THEY'RE OFF THE TENNIS COURT AND NOT SWEATING? 623 00:25:16,783 --> 00:25:18,751 MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE THAT WHITE, YOU DON'T SWEAT. 624 00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:20,687 DARREN'S NICE, ISN'T HE? HE'S VERY NICE. 625 00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:22,722 DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING A GOOD IMPRESSION? 626 00:25:22,789 --> 00:25:24,023 GREAT IMPRESSION! HE LOVES YOU. 627 00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:26,258 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE FOUND OUT YOU SHARE HIS LOVE 628 00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:28,327 OF VARIOUS ASPECTS OF CERTAIN SPORTING ENDEAVORS. 629 00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:29,528 HEY, YOU STARTED IT. 630 00:25:29,596 --> 00:25:31,731 WE COULD'VE JUST TOLD THE TRUTH. 631 00:25:31,798 --> 00:25:33,165 I WAS TRYING TO HUMANIZE US. 632 00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:35,201 YEAH, WITH OUR FUNNY-LOOKING CHAI TEA TABLE -- 633 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:36,535 VERY HUMANIZING. 634 00:25:36,603 --> 00:25:38,237 [ Raspy voice ] ZOLTAN KEMENY. 635 00:25:38,304 --> 00:25:39,806 WHAT? THAT ARTIST'S NAME, 636 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:42,208 IT SOUNDS LIKE ROBOT LANGUAGE. ISN'T IT? ZOLTAN KEMENY. 637 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,543 DON'T SAY IT AGAIN. ZOLTAN KEMENY. ZOLTAN KEMENY. 638 00:25:44,611 --> 00:25:46,613 STOP! DON'T. ZOLTA... 639 00:25:46,679 --> 00:25:48,781 OH. I'M SORRY. I'M INTERRUPTING THE FUN. 640 00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:50,249 NO, THAT'S ALRIGHT. YOU'RE NOT. 641 00:25:50,316 --> 00:25:52,351 WE WERE JUST LAUGHING AT THE FUNNY HAIRCUTS. 642 00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:55,655 I KNOW. AREN'T THEY A BLAST? JUST A SEA OF GOOFY SIDEBURNS. 643 00:25:55,722 --> 00:25:58,791 LUNCH WILL BE READY IN JUST A FEW MINUTES. 644 00:25:58,858 --> 00:26:00,226 ZOLTAN -- STOP! 645 00:26:01,761 --> 00:26:03,395 OH, WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TABLE. 646 00:26:03,462 --> 00:26:05,031 YES, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 647 00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:06,933 RORY, HONESTLY, IT'S OUR PLEASURE. 648 00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:08,935 PERFECT TIMING, KIDS. Jack: EXCELLENT. 649 00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:10,369 NICE-LOOKING LUNCH, MOM. 650 00:26:10,436 --> 00:26:11,804 Color-coordinated. Shh. 651 00:26:11,871 --> 00:26:14,240 GUESTS OF HONOR, WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER THERE? 652 00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:15,341 THANK YOU. 653 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,943 OH, FAMILY PICTURES. 654 00:26:17,009 --> 00:26:18,444 YOU HAVE ANOTHER GIRL, DON'T YOU? 655 00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:21,347 YES, WE DO. WHERE IS SHE? WHAT DOES SHE DO? 656 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:23,349 OH, UH... 657 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:24,751 SHE'S NOT HERE. 658 00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,185 I'M SORRY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED. 659 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,020 OH, NO, IT'S ALRIGHT. THAT'S CAROL. 660 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,989 SHE'S A YEAR AHEAD OF RORY. SHE'S... 661 00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:32,524 SHE'S FOLLOWING HER OWN PATH. 662 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:33,926 RIGHT. 663 00:26:33,993 --> 00:26:35,962 CAROL'S DOING HER OWN THING. OKAY. 664 00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:37,964 WELL, LET'S EAT, EVERYBODY. 665 00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:40,199 HONORED GUESTS, PLEASE CHOOSE FROM THE CHICKEN FIRST. 666 00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,567 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 667 00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:44,203 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT OVER THE BREAST, AS ALWAYS. 668 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,806 SO, LORELAI, WHAT'S YOUR ALMA MATER? 669 00:26:46,873 --> 00:26:49,041 WELL, I WAS TOO PREOCCUPIED TO GO TO COLLEGE, 670 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,710 WITH WEIGHING A COUPLE HUNDRED POUNDS 671 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,780 AND HAVING FEET TWICE MY NORMAL SIZE AND ALL. 672 00:26:53,846 --> 00:26:54,914 [ Laughing ] I SEE. 673 00:26:54,981 --> 00:26:56,382 BUT SHE TOOK NIGHT CLASSES 674 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,750 AND GRADUATED LAST YEAR. 675 00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,852 SHE HAS AN A.A. DEGREE IN BUSINESS. 676 00:26:59,919 --> 00:27:01,688 OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL. 677 00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:03,022 IN FACT, IT'S REFRESHING. 678 00:27:03,089 --> 00:27:04,891 MIGHT EVEN BE TO RORY'S BENEFIT. 679 00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:07,727 GOOD THINGS DIDN'T COME TO YOUR FAMILY IN ONE FELL SWOOP. 680 00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:09,228 YOU STRUGGLED FOR IT. THAT'S TRUE. 681 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,764 "ONE FELL SWOOP" -- INTERESTING PHRASE. 682 00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:13,265 VERY. ORIGIN? 683 00:27:13,332 --> 00:27:15,968 IT WAS COINED IN "MACBETH" AND DERIVES FROM MIDDLE ENGLISH. 684 00:27:16,035 --> 00:27:18,404 VERY GOOD, SON. YOU KNOW YOUR SHAKESPEARE THEN, DO YOU? 685 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:21,674 MORE THAN MOST. IN WHICH PLAY DOES FALSTAFF APPEAR? 686 00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:23,209 THAT WOULD BE PLAYS. 687 00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:26,278 "HENRY IV," PART 1 AND 2, AND "THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR." 688 00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:28,848 SO, THAT WAS A DIFFERENT FALSTAFF IN "HENRY V"? 689 00:27:28,915 --> 00:27:31,517 THIS IS A LITTLE TRADITION WITH US -- QUIZZES AT MEALS. 690 00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:32,819 IT KEEPS THE SPRINGSTEENS SHARP. 691 00:27:32,885 --> 00:27:34,486 VERY KENNEDYESQUE. 692 00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:36,522 MMM, WE LOVE THE KENNEDYS. 693 00:27:36,588 --> 00:27:37,857 AS DO WE ALL. 694 00:27:37,924 --> 00:27:39,191 NOW, THE PERSON QUESTIONED 695 00:27:39,258 --> 00:27:40,960 CAN CHALLENGE ME WITH A FOLLOW-UP, 696 00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:42,729 IF HE GETS HIS QUESTION RIGHT. 697 00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:44,130 GETS PRETTY COMPETITIVE. 698 00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:46,098 WELL, IF PISTOLS ARE DRAWN, WE'RE DUCKING. 699 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,834 JACK, WHICH POLISH COMPOSER -- 700 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:49,368 CHOPIN. PATIENCE -- 701 00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:51,537 BECAME PRIME MINISTER OF HIS COUNTRY. 702 00:27:51,603 --> 00:27:53,272 PADEREWSKI? THAT'S RIGHT. 703 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:55,341 BUT YOUR IMPETUOUSNESS COST YOU A FOLLOW-UP. 704 00:27:55,407 --> 00:27:58,711 JENNIFER, CAN YOU GIVE ME THE 3 SUBCLASSES 705 00:27:58,778 --> 00:28:00,046 OF THE MESOZOIC ERA? 706 00:28:00,112 --> 00:28:01,981 TRIASSIC, JURASSIC, AND CRETACEOUS. 707 00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:03,515 [ Chuckling ] GOOD. 708 00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:05,651 FOLLOW-UP -- WHAT PRECEDED THE MESOZOIC ERA? 709 00:28:05,718 --> 00:28:07,353 PALEOZOIC. HE'S GOOD. 710 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:08,620 IT'S HARD TO STOP DARREN. 711 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,622 IMPOSSIBLE. HE'S BRILLIANT. 712 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,358 OPEN QUESTION -- 713 00:28:12,424 --> 00:28:15,027 WHAT MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE HAS THE HEAD OF A MAN, 714 00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:18,197 THE BODY OF A LION, AND THE TAIL OF A SCORPION? 715 00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:21,133 HERE'S A HINT -- 716 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,136 IT'S ALSO THE TITLE OF A NOVEL BY ROBERTSON DAVIES. 717 00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:25,371 OH, MANTICORE. 718 00:28:25,437 --> 00:28:26,739 VERY GOOD, RORY! 719 00:28:26,806 --> 00:28:28,374 YES, VERY GOOD, RORY. 720 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:29,842 YES, VERY GOOD, RORY. 721 00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:32,378 Marie: MORE WATER, LORELAI? PLEASE. THANK YOU. 722 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:35,181 DO YOU KNOW WHICH FRENCH CITY, FAMOUS FOR ITS WATER, 723 00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:38,050 WAS THE CAPITAL OF COLLABORATIONIST FRANCE? 724 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:41,754 OH, ME? [ CHUCKLES ] 725 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:45,191 UM, EVIAN? PERRIER? LE CRYSTAL GEYSER? 726 00:28:45,257 --> 00:28:47,894 JENNIFER, DO YOU WANNA HELP LORELAI OUT? 727 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,195 VICHY. THAT'S CORRECT. 728 00:28:49,261 --> 00:28:51,964 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. VICHY WATER. I KNEW THAT. 729 00:28:52,031 --> 00:28:54,066 WHAT ABOUT THE YEAR OF GERMANY'S VICTORY 730 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:56,468 IN THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR? 731 00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:57,770 ME AGAIN? 732 00:28:57,837 --> 00:28:59,806 IF YOU WISH. I DON'T KNOW THAT ONE. 733 00:28:59,872 --> 00:29:02,775 I DO KNOW ISTANBUL IS CONSTANTINOPLE, 734 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:06,145 SO IF YOU'VE GOT A DATE IN CONSTANTINOPLE, 735 00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:08,480 SHE'LL BE WAITING IN ISTANBUL. 736 00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:10,716 THAT'S TRUE. 737 00:29:10,783 --> 00:29:12,151 YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, 738 00:29:12,218 --> 00:29:13,986 BUT I'D LIKE TO WASH MY HANDS. 739 00:29:14,053 --> 00:29:15,822 OUR FAULT. WE RUSHED YOU IN HERE. 740 00:29:15,888 --> 00:29:17,356 OUR DOWNSTAIRS IS BEING REMODELED. 741 00:29:17,423 --> 00:29:19,792 YOU HAVE TO USE UPSTAIRS -- END OF THE HALL. 742 00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,894 HURRY BACK. I WILL. 743 00:29:21,961 --> 00:29:23,129 [ SIGHS ] 744 00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:24,997 SO, THAT PAINTING THERE, WOW. 745 00:29:25,064 --> 00:29:27,834 THE COLORS ARE SO GREAT. I CAN'T STOP STARING AT IT. 746 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,001 IT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL. 747 00:29:29,068 --> 00:29:30,469 IT'S BY A STUDENT OF MATISSE. 748 00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:32,939 I THINK HE CAUGHT THE MASTER'S COLORS WONDERFULLY. 749 00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,074 OH, MATISSE. LOVE HIM. 750 00:29:35,141 --> 00:29:37,176 I THINK ONLY A CHARLATAN WOULDN'T. 751 00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:40,813 ANYONE KNOW THE ARTISTIC MOVEMENT MATISSE CHAMPIONED 752 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,215 AND REFERRED TO AS "THE WILD BEAST"? 753 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:44,483 FAUVISM. 754 00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:45,784 CORRECT. FOLLOW-UP. 755 00:29:45,852 --> 00:29:47,419 AND THEN WE'LL GO ROUND ROBIN. 756 00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:49,155 [ LAUGHTER ] 757 00:29:56,362 --> 00:29:57,396 COMING THROUGH. 758 00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:58,898 OH, S-SORRY. 759 00:29:58,965 --> 00:30:00,833 I JUST HEARD MUSIC. 760 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:02,168 COOL ROOM. 761 00:30:02,234 --> 00:30:03,836 TOM WAITS. WHAT? 762 00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,537 THE MUSIC. OH, I THOUGHT SO. 763 00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:08,640 I LOVE HIM. I WORSHIP HIM. I EVEN MILDLY STALKED HIM ONCE. 764 00:30:08,707 --> 00:30:12,511 REALLY? LAST YEAR I HEARD HE WAS STAYING IN THIS HOTEL, I WENT EVERY DAY, 765 00:30:12,578 --> 00:30:14,881 DRINKING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF COFFEE WAITING FOR HIM. 766 00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:16,949 DID YOU SEE HIM? NO, HE NEVER CAME DOWN. 767 00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:19,986 FOR ALL I KNOW, HE'S STILL THERE. HAND ME THAT BRUSH? 768 00:30:20,052 --> 00:30:22,221 THAT STUPID MANAGER MADE ME COVER FOR FIONA TODAY. 769 00:30:22,288 --> 00:30:23,890 THAT GIRL IS A MAJOR PIECRUST. 770 00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:24,957 EARS? WHAT? 771 00:30:25,024 --> 00:30:27,359 ON THE CHAIR. WHAT TIME IS IT? 772 00:30:27,426 --> 00:30:30,262 UM...3:00. OH, I'M TOTALLY LATE FOR MY NEXT JOB. 773 00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:34,333 OH, WELL, I GUESS GRANDMA HAD TO TAKE ANOTHER TRIP TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, RIGHT? 774 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,368 ARE THEY ON STRAIGHT? I THINK SO. 775 00:30:36,435 --> 00:30:37,203 GOOD. WHO ARE YOU? 776 00:30:37,269 --> 00:30:38,938 I'M SORRY. I'M RORY GILMORE. 777 00:30:39,005 --> 00:30:40,606 YOU'RE ONE OF THE HARVARD-BOUND? 778 00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:42,508 YEAH -- AT LEAST, I HOPE SO. 779 00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:44,043 OH, TRUST ME, YOU ARE. 780 00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:46,845 YOU'VE GOT THAT REALLY GOOD, STRAIGHT, SHINY, HARVARD HAIR. 781 00:30:46,913 --> 00:30:48,480 ZIP ME UP? 782 00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:50,749 I'M SORRY. ARE YOU...CAROL? 783 00:30:50,816 --> 00:30:51,984 YEAH, WHY? 784 00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:53,953 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT -- 785 00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:55,221 WHAT? WELL, YOU. 786 00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:56,422 WHY? I DON'T KNOW. 787 00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,457 YOUR PARENTS JUST MADE IT SOUND LIKE -- 788 00:30:58,524 --> 00:31:01,928 LIKE I WAS HOLED UP IN THE CHELSEA WITH A NEEDLE STICKING OUT? 789 00:31:01,994 --> 00:31:03,963 SCREAMING SID AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS? 790 00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:06,498 WELL, TO THEM, THIS IS PRETTY CLOSE. 791 00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:09,969 CAN I ASK YOU WHAT EXACTLY YOU ARE DRESSING UP LIKE THIS FOR? 792 00:31:10,036 --> 00:31:11,470 MORGAN TANNER'S 4th BIRTHDAY PARTY. 793 00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:12,838 YOU'RE KIDDING. 794 00:31:12,905 --> 00:31:14,473 THIS IS MY FIFTH BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK. 795 00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:17,009 GREAT TIPS, ALL CASH, AND, OF COURSE, THERE'S CAKE. 796 00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:19,245 SO, YOU'RE A WAITRESS AND A BIRTHDAY BUNNY 797 00:31:19,311 --> 00:31:21,480 AND YOU GO TO SCHOOL -- THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING. 798 00:31:21,547 --> 00:31:23,015 I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL. 799 00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:25,251 OH, SORRY. I JUST ASSUMED. I MEAN, YOUR FAMILY -- 800 00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:27,719 MY BROTHER AND SISTER GOT STUCK ON THAT CONVEYOR BELT. 801 00:31:27,786 --> 00:31:30,556 I HOWEVER ESCAPED SOMEWHERE AROUND THE 11th GRADE, THANK GOD. 802 00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:32,992 OH, BUT HEY, NO OFFENSE. I MEAN, THAT'S JUST ME. 803 00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:36,262 IF YOU LIKE BEING ON THE CONVEYOR BELT, THEN GOOD FOR YOU. 804 00:31:36,328 --> 00:31:37,896 I'M NOT ON THE CONVEYOR BELT. 805 00:31:37,964 --> 00:31:39,565 OKAY. 806 00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:41,367 I'M NOT. I WANT THIS. 807 00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:44,070 I'VE DREAMT OF GOING TO HARVARD SINCE I WAS LITTLE. 808 00:31:44,136 --> 00:31:46,105 YEAH, A LOT OF 4-YEAR-OLDS DREAM OF THAT. 809 00:31:46,172 --> 00:31:47,940 IT COMES RIGHT AFTER MEETING HARRY POTTER. 810 00:31:48,007 --> 00:31:49,441 HEY, I'M NOT GONNA JUSTIFY MYSELF 811 00:31:49,508 --> 00:31:52,178 TO SOMEONE WITH A...TAIL. YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. 812 00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:55,447 IT'S JUST THAT AROUND HERE, THE HARVARD BRAINWASHING STARTS IN THE WOMB. 813 00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:59,318 IF YOU WERE TO TELL EITHER OF MY SIBLINGS THAT THERE WAS ANOTHER LIFE CHOICE 814 00:31:59,385 --> 00:32:01,753 OUTSIDE OF THE I.V. LEAGUE THEIR KHAKIS WOULD WRINKLE. 815 00:32:01,820 --> 00:32:06,025 MAYBE THEY REALLY WANT IT. NO, MY PARENTS WANT IT, AND THEY WANNA PLEASE MY PARENTS. 816 00:32:06,092 --> 00:32:08,194 DON'T YOU WANNA PLEASE YOUR PARENTS? 817 00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:10,896 YEAH, BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF FINDING MYSELF. 818 00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:13,132 OR YOUR CARROT. 819 00:32:13,199 --> 00:32:15,534 YOU GOTTA HAVE YOUR CARROT. 820 00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:17,203 SO, TELL ME SOMETHING, HARVARD HAIR. 821 00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:19,238 HOW BAD DO YOU WANNA PLEASE YOUR PARENTS? 822 00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:21,507 MY MOM, AND REALLY BAD, BUT IT'S NOT HARD. 823 00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:23,142 SHE'S OKAY WITH ANYTHING I DO. 824 00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:24,977 AS LONG AS I'M HAPPY, SHE'S GOOD. 825 00:32:25,044 --> 00:32:26,512 YOU SURE? I'M VERY SURE. 826 00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:27,613 THEN YOU'RE LUCKY. 827 00:32:27,679 --> 00:32:29,015 YEAH, I AM LUCKY. 828 00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:32,184 RORY QUICK, WHAT ARE THE 3 MAJOR HINDU DEITIES? 829 00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:33,419 BECAUSE I'VE MISSED 4 QUESTIONS. 830 00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:35,487 IF I MISS AGAIN, I WON'T GET DESSERT. 831 00:32:35,554 --> 00:32:38,557 BRAHMA, SHIVA, AND VISHNU. BRAHMA, SHIVA, AND VISHNU. HI, OTHER DAUGHTER. 832 00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:41,427 I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T DO A GESUNDHEIT JOKE WHEN I SAY "VISHNU." 833 00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:43,129 GOOD THINKING. OKAY THANKS, BYE. 834 00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,564 I'LL GO WITH YOU. I'M GLAD TO HAVE MET YOU. 835 00:32:45,631 --> 00:32:48,100 SAME HERE. GOOD LUCK WITH HARVARD. THANKS. 836 00:32:50,236 --> 00:32:53,139 [ SMOOCHES ] OH. WHAT'S THAT FOR? 837 00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:55,207 FOR NOT PUTTING ME ON THE CONVEYOR BELT. 838 00:32:55,274 --> 00:32:57,143 YES, THAT WAS VERY BIG OF ME. 839 00:32:57,209 --> 00:32:59,011 YOU DON'T KNOW. 840 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,682 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING ALL MY DUMB QUESTIONS. 841 00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:06,518 YOU ASKED NO DUMB QUESTIONS, AND I HOPE MY ANSWERS SUFFICED. 842 00:33:06,585 --> 00:33:09,288 DEFINITELY. BYE. AU REVOIR. 843 00:33:09,355 --> 00:33:12,158 THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT DID A WORLD OF GOOD FOR HER. 844 00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:14,593 SHE'S A VERY IMPRESSIVE YOUNG LADY. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY CONCUR. 845 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:18,064 YOU MOLDED HER WELL. I DIDN'T MOLD HER. RORY POPPED OUT THAT WAY. 846 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:20,499 YOU'RE BEING MODEST. YOU DON'T KNOW ME, DO YOU? 847 00:33:20,566 --> 00:33:22,334 SO LONG. BYE. 848 00:33:22,401 --> 00:33:24,436 WHAT DID HE SAY? THAT YOU'RE GOD-LIKE. 849 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:25,537 IS THAT ALL? 850 00:33:25,604 --> 00:33:27,406 AND THAT HIS BROTHER BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN 851 00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:30,876 WOULD BE HAPPY TO COME AND PLAY AT OUR NEXT PARTY OR EVENT. 852 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,178 I FIGURED YOUR GRADUATION PARTY. 853 00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:34,246 I'LL BE VERY POPULAR. MM-HMM. 854 00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:35,581 ALL IN FAVOR, SAY "AY." 855 00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:37,316 AY. AY. AY. AY. 856 00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:39,751 LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE FUNDS HAVE BEEN APPROVED 857 00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:42,588 TO CLOSE THE TOWN BANK ACCOUNT THAT HOLDS THE TOWN FUNDS 858 00:33:42,654 --> 00:33:45,124 IN ORDER TO OPEN A NEW TOWN-FUNDS BANK ACCOUNT 859 00:33:45,191 --> 00:33:47,659 AT A DIFFERENT BANKING INSTITUTION. 860 00:33:47,726 --> 00:33:51,363 YOUNG LADIES, IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR TARDINESS, 861 00:33:51,430 --> 00:33:54,200 WE SAVED TWO SEATS FOR YOU RIGHT THERE IN THE BACK. 862 00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:56,535 THANKS FOR THINKING OF US, TAYLOR. 863 00:33:56,602 --> 00:34:00,239 WHOO! OKAY, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU BATHED IN COLOGNE. 864 00:34:00,306 --> 00:34:02,508 IN THE INTEREST OF GETTING HOME SOME TIME TONIGHT, 865 00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:05,144 I'D LIKE TO BRING UP THE FINAL POINT OF BUSINESS, 866 00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:07,313 AND THAT IS A CERTAIN CITIZEN'S DESIRE 867 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,782 TO OPEN AN OLD-FASHIONED SODA SHOP IN TOWN. 868 00:34:10,849 --> 00:34:12,851 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHO'S THE GUY? 869 00:34:12,918 --> 00:34:16,021 WHAT OTHER PUTZ WOULD WANT TO OPEN AN OLD-FASHIONED SODA SHOP? 870 00:34:16,088 --> 00:34:17,456 DISPENSE WITH THE YIDDISH YOUNG MAN. 871 00:34:17,523 --> 00:34:19,091 THIS IS NOT A TOWN MATTER. 872 00:34:19,158 --> 00:34:21,127 THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER BETWEEN YOU AND ME, 873 00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:24,396 WHICH WAS SETTLED WHEN I SAID NO. THIS IS A TOWN MATTER 874 00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:27,299 BECAUSE WHEN THIS TOWN IS IN NEED OF A PARTICULAR BUSINESS 875 00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:29,268 TO PROVIDE NECESSARY SERVICES, 876 00:34:29,335 --> 00:34:31,903 IT'S UP TO THE TOWN TO BAND TOGETHER AND LURE IT. 877 00:34:31,970 --> 00:34:34,740 HOW DOES A STUPID SODA SHOP COUNT AS A NECESSARY BUSINESS? 878 00:34:34,806 --> 00:34:37,576 ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU WONDER 879 00:34:37,643 --> 00:34:39,678 HOW WE EVER LIVED WITHOUT IT. 880 00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:42,414 KIRK, IF YOU WILL. 881 00:34:42,481 --> 00:34:45,451 KIRK, I TOLD YOU TO GET SOMETHING DECORATIVE TO COVER IT. 882 00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:48,086 MY MOM WOULDN'T LET ME USE ONE OF HER NICE TABLECLOTHS, 883 00:34:48,154 --> 00:34:51,590 SO I JUST GRABBED A SHEET FROM MY HAMPER. TAKE IT OFF. 884 00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:54,893 Luke: WHAT'S THAT, A TOY? 885 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,562 OH, IT'S AWFULLY CUTE! 886 00:34:56,628 --> 00:34:59,931 THAT IS A PROFESSIONALLY MANUFACTURED DIORAMA 887 00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:01,400 OF THE PROPOSED BUSINESS. 888 00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:03,269 THERE'S LITTLE PEOPLE AND EVERYTHING. 889 00:35:03,335 --> 00:35:04,670 THEY LOOK SO REAL. 890 00:35:04,736 --> 00:35:07,706 HEY! IT'S ME, HOLDING THE TINY ZUCCHINI! 891 00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:09,275 LOOK AT THE HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE. 892 00:35:09,341 --> 00:35:11,109 MY THOUGHT WAS TO PARK IT OUT FRONT 893 00:35:11,177 --> 00:35:14,713 WITH THE NAME OF THE BUSINESS ON THE SIDE. IT'S VERY 1800s. 894 00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:17,082 THE HORSE IS TALLER THAN THE FRONT DOOR! 895 00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:19,218 WAY TALLER. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, TAYLOR? 896 00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:21,253 ARE YOU BREEDING GIANT HORSES? 897 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,854 IT'S SLIGHTLY OUT OF PROPORTION. 898 00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:25,924 SLIGHTLY? THAT LITTLE GUY THERE COULD WALK RIGHT UNDER THE HORSE 899 00:35:25,991 --> 00:35:29,695 WITHOUT EVEN DUCKING. YOU'RE MISSING THE BIG PICTURE HERE, TOWNSFOLK! 900 00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:32,631 NOW, THIS WONDERFUL BUSINESS BELONGS IN STARS HOLLOW, 901 00:35:32,698 --> 00:35:35,401 WHETHER LUKE RENTS THE SPACE WILLINGLY OR NOT. 902 00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:37,403 HOW WOULD I NOT RENT IT WILLINGLY? 903 00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:39,771 I'M TALKING ABOUT EMINENT DOMAIN, MY FRIEND. 904 00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:41,440 CHECK THE TOWN'S BYLAWS. 905 00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:44,176 IF A 3/4 MAJORITY FINDS IT NECESSARY 906 00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:46,245 TO USE A SPACE FOR A SPECIFIC FUNCTION, 907 00:35:46,312 --> 00:35:47,779 THE LANDOWNER MUST CONCEDE. 908 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:50,015 THAT'S FOR TAKING OVER HOUSES TO TURN INTO HOSPITALS 909 00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:52,117 DURING A NATIONAL EMERGENCY LIKE THE CIVIL WAR. 910 00:35:52,184 --> 00:35:55,787 IF YOU WANNA TURN THIS PLACE INTO A CIVIL WAR HOSPITAL, BE MY GUEST. 911 00:35:55,854 --> 00:35:59,658 SOME WOULD ATTEST THAT MY SODA SHOP WILL OFFER IS ON THE SAME LEVEL 912 00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:01,693 AS THE COMFORT THAT A HOSPITAL CAN PROVIDE. 913 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,495 YOU'RE GONNA NEED A HOSPITAL, TAYLOR. 914 00:36:03,562 --> 00:36:04,830 HIT HIM. WHICH ONE? 915 00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:06,332 EITHER ONE. 916 00:36:06,398 --> 00:36:09,368 LUKE, THIS SHOP IS BASED ON THE ORIGINAL SODA SHOP 917 00:36:09,435 --> 00:36:11,470 THAT WAS IN TOWN 80 YEARS AGO! 918 00:36:11,537 --> 00:36:14,105 DON'T YOU SEE? YOU ARE PREVENTING THE TOWN -- 919 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,641 FROM MOVING BACKWARDS. 920 00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:18,377 WHO HERE WANTS TO DO THAT? 921 00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:20,145 [ High-pitched voice ] WE LIKE ICE CREAM. 922 00:36:20,212 --> 00:36:21,713 OH, COME ON. 923 00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:24,583 A NICE BURGER FROM LUKE'S AND AN ICE CREAM SODA, YUM. 924 00:36:24,650 --> 00:36:26,418 YOU WANT THAT THING? WITH A CHERRY. 925 00:36:26,485 --> 00:36:28,320 THE STRIPED AWNING AND THE GIANT HORSE? 926 00:36:28,387 --> 00:36:31,089 [ SIGHS ] 927 00:36:31,156 --> 00:36:32,958 BE READY TO PAY THROUGH THE NOSE. 928 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,192 WE'LL TALK TERMS. 929 00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:36,628 WE HAVE OUR SODA SHOP, EVERYBODY. 930 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:38,364 YAY! YAY! 931 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:40,031 MEETING DISMISSED. 932 00:36:40,098 --> 00:36:42,668 TAYLOR, IS IT TOO SOON TO TALK ABOUT MANAGEMENT OPPORTUNITIES? 933 00:36:42,734 --> 00:36:45,637 HEY, YOU GET TO BE TAYLOR'S LANDLORD. THAT'S KIND OF COOL. 934 00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:47,439 THANKS FOR YOUR LACK OF HELP. 935 00:36:47,506 --> 00:36:49,975 GRUMP. [ CHUCKLES ] 936 00:36:53,279 --> 00:36:55,847 SO, HOW WAS LUNCH WITH HARVARD GUY? 937 00:36:55,914 --> 00:36:57,583 GREAT. HE ANSWERED ALL MY QUESTIONS. 938 00:36:57,649 --> 00:37:00,018 MAKES KILLER CHICKEN. HE STICKS A LEMON UP ITS BUTT. 939 00:37:00,085 --> 00:37:03,255 HE GAVE ME EXCELLENT TIPS. WE'RE VERY IMPRESSED WITH HIM. 940 00:37:03,322 --> 00:37:05,023 HMM. HE PASSES THE TEST. MM-HMM. 941 00:37:05,090 --> 00:37:06,692 EXCUSE ME, LANE? THAT'S ME. 942 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:08,527 OKAY, GREAT, I'M DAVE RYGALSKI. 943 00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:11,430 RIGHT. HI. YOU'RE A GUITARIST. YEAH. 944 00:37:11,497 --> 00:37:14,099 HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS ME? DEAD KENNEDY SHIRT. 945 00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:15,934 GOOD THINKING. HEY, ISN'T IT A DRAG 946 00:37:16,001 --> 00:37:18,003 THAT JELLO BIAFRA ISN'T SINGING FOR THEM ANYMORE? 947 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:21,273 THEIR FRONT MAN IS THAT KID FROM "THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIE'S FATHER ." 948 00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:23,275 WHAT'S NEXT -- URKEL JOINING THE WU-TANG CLAN? 949 00:37:23,342 --> 00:37:24,976 OR MAYBE "MALCOLM" FRONTING THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS. 950 00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:27,413 SOME THINGS ARE SACRED. I'M WITH YOU ON THAT. 951 00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:30,482 SO, WHAT'S YOUR BAND LIKE? WE DO A LOT OF COOL COVERS. 952 00:37:30,549 --> 00:37:31,917 THE CLASH, THE KINKS, ET CETERA. 953 00:37:31,983 --> 00:37:35,120 STATISTICALLY, IT'S LIKE 38 OF THE 43 BANDS YOU LISTED. 954 00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:36,154 NICE PERCENTAGE. 955 00:37:36,221 --> 00:37:37,789 I COULD PLAY A SONG WE DEMO'D 956 00:37:37,856 --> 00:37:40,526 USING A DRUM MACHINE. GREAT. WHAT'S ALL THIS? 957 00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:42,193 THIS IS A HEADPHONE AMP. 958 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,029 IT BOOSTS THE VOLUME AND THE CLARITY. 959 00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,831 AND THESE ARE GRADO 125s, 960 00:37:45,897 --> 00:37:49,301 WHICH IS JUST REALLY KILLER, KILLER PORTABLE SOUND. 961 00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:51,337 I'M SORT OF AN AUDIO GEEK. SORRY. 962 00:37:51,403 --> 00:37:53,605 NO, DON'T APOLOGIZE. I LOVE YOU. 963 00:37:53,672 --> 00:37:55,341 FOR THAT -- FOR BEING THAT WAY. 964 00:37:55,407 --> 00:37:57,075 I LOVE IT. I'M LIKE THAT, TOO. 965 00:37:57,142 --> 00:38:00,579 DO YOU WANNA GO OVER TO THAT BENCH, MAYBE HAVE A LISTEN? 966 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,949 I THINK A LOVE SONG'S IN THEIR FUTURE. 967 00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:05,884 WITH LOTS OF LYRICS ABOUT SNOGGING. 968 00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:07,185 ABOUT WHAT? HEY. 969 00:38:07,252 --> 00:38:09,788 HEY. YOU MISSED EVERYTHING. 970 00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:11,490 THAT'S SNOGGING. GOT IT. 971 00:38:11,557 --> 00:38:12,824 BYE. [ GIGGLES ] 972 00:38:12,891 --> 00:38:14,326 SO, ANY FIREWORKS? 973 00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:18,129 WELL, THERE WAS A CLASSIC LUKE/TAYLOR DISPUTE, BUT IT WAS RESOLVED 974 00:38:18,196 --> 00:38:20,766 AND WILL RESULT IN ICE CREAM FLOATS AND 20-FOOT HORSES. 975 00:38:20,832 --> 00:38:22,634 GOOD DEAL. AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR LUNCH? 976 00:38:22,701 --> 00:38:25,937 OH, IT WAS GREAT. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT THINGS, NOW. 977 00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:28,039 THE APPLICATION'S NOT FREAKING ME OUT ANYMORE. 978 00:38:28,106 --> 00:38:29,441 YOU LOOK UNFREAKED. 979 00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,977 WELL, NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW. IT'S FULL-STEAM AHEAD. 980 00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:33,278 THAT'S GREAT. 981 00:38:33,345 --> 00:38:35,514 CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? OF COURSE YOU CAN. 982 00:38:35,581 --> 00:38:37,015 WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE? 983 00:38:37,082 --> 00:38:38,417 WHEN I LEAVE WHEN? 984 00:38:38,484 --> 00:38:40,786 WHEN YOU LEAVE FOR HARVARD. DO WE BREAK UP? 985 00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:43,455 WHOA, THAT WAS BLUNT AND OUT OF NOWHERE. 986 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:45,524 IT SEEMS WE SHOULD BE BLUNT RIGHT NOW. 987 00:38:45,591 --> 00:38:47,893 NO, WE DON'T BREAK UP. DO YOU WANT THAT? 988 00:38:47,959 --> 00:38:49,928 NO, BUT HOW WILL WE SEE EACH OTHER? 989 00:38:49,995 --> 00:38:52,063 EASY. WEEKENDS -- THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE INVENTED FOR. 990 00:38:52,130 --> 00:38:54,800 SO YOU'LL COME HOME, DO HOMEWORK ALL WEEKEND, THEN LEAVE. 991 00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:57,035 NO, I CAN DO MY HOMEWORK DURING THE WEEK 992 00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:59,471 OR ON THE TRAIN COMING HOME TO SEE YOU, 993 00:38:59,538 --> 00:39:01,907 WHO I WILL SPEND MY WEEKENDS WITH NOT DOING HOMEWORK. 994 00:39:01,973 --> 00:39:04,810 PLUS, WE CAN TALK DURING THE WEEK ON THE PHONE CONSTANTLY. 995 00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:07,546 TRUST ME. IT'LL FEEL LIKE I NEVER LEFT. OH, YEAH? 996 00:39:07,613 --> 00:39:09,581 CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR SPENDS HALF OF HER LIFE 997 00:39:09,648 --> 00:39:11,583 STANDING IN FOXHOLES IN THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES, 998 00:39:11,650 --> 00:39:13,619 AND SHE HAS A HUSBAND AND A KID, 999 00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:16,054 AND SHE WAS ON C-SPAN LAST WEEK GETTING SOME AWARD. 1000 00:39:16,121 --> 00:39:19,124 SO IF SHE AND HER HUSBAND CAN MAKE IT WORK, WE CAN. 1001 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:21,693 SO WE'LL HAVE ACCESS TO THE CNN JET? NO. 1002 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,295 OR HEY -- YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE IN BOSTON. 1003 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,531 I'M GOING TO JUNIOR COLLEGE. 1004 00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:27,132 BOSTON HAS JUNIOR COLLEGES. 1005 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:28,366 BUT NOT DORM ROOMS. 1006 00:39:28,434 --> 00:39:29,801 YOU CAN RENT AN APARTMENT. 1007 00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:32,438 WITH THE MONEY I GET WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY? 1008 00:39:32,504 --> 00:39:34,606 ACCESS TO THE CNN JET IS MORE LIKELY. 1009 00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:36,942 WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS, SO -- REALISTIC? 1010 00:39:37,008 --> 00:39:39,044 OH, COME ON, BE SERIOUS. 1011 00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:41,747 I AM. I AM. 1012 00:39:43,649 --> 00:39:45,917 THAT'S TOO SERIOUS. 1013 00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:48,787 YEAH, UH, YOU KNOW, JUST FORGET IT. 1014 00:39:48,854 --> 00:39:50,556 [ SIGHS ] 1015 00:39:50,622 --> 00:39:52,991 COME ON, WE WERE GONNA GO TO LUKE'S, RIGHT? 1016 00:39:53,058 --> 00:39:54,359 YEAH. 1017 00:39:54,426 --> 00:39:55,794 [ SIGHS ] LET'S GO TO LUKE'S. 1018 00:39:56,895 --> 00:39:58,497 IT'S GREAT. IT REALLY IS. 1019 00:39:58,564 --> 00:40:00,732 OKAY, COOL. LISTEN, THEN, I'LL TALK TO THE GUYS. 1020 00:40:00,799 --> 00:40:02,768 UH, WE'LL GET TOGETHER AND PLAY NEXT WEEK. 1021 00:40:02,834 --> 00:40:04,603 SURE! I'VE GOT TO GET HOME. 1022 00:40:04,670 --> 00:40:07,005 ALRIGHT, WELL, IT WAS GOOD MEETING YOU, LANE. 1023 00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:09,708 SAME HERE. 1024 00:40:09,775 --> 00:40:11,543 "TRUST GOD" -- IS THAT A BAND? 1025 00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:13,378 NO, MY LIFE. 1026 00:40:13,445 --> 00:40:16,114 OH, COME ON, YOU DO NOT LIKE MODERN ART. 1027 00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:18,617 WELL, THEN, I WAS MISTAKEN. I GUESS I DON'T. 1028 00:40:18,684 --> 00:40:20,786 I'M A MINDLESS ANDROID. I HAVE NO OPINIONS. 1029 00:40:20,852 --> 00:40:22,521 WELL, WHAT KIND DO YOU LIKE? 1030 00:40:22,588 --> 00:40:26,224 DO YOU LIKE THE KIND THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE HEMORRHAGED ON A CANVAS? 1031 00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:27,893 I LOVE HEMORRHAGING. 1032 00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:30,729 THE SCULPTURE THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS DROPPED AND GLUED BACK? 1033 00:40:30,796 --> 00:40:32,564 ACTUALLY, THE REAL LOVE OF MY LIFE 1034 00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:34,800 IS BEING MERCILESSLY TEASED BY THE TWO OF YOU. 1035 00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:36,835 [ Sarcastically ] OH, WE'RE SORRY. YEAH, WE'RE SORRY. 1036 00:40:36,902 --> 00:40:38,870 KISSES! OH, IN PUBLIC NO LESS. 1037 00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:41,306 HEY, WHERE'S RORY? WE NEED ALL THE GIRLS KISSING YOU. 1038 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:44,342 THAT REMINDS ME. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH RORY'S ROOM? 1039 00:40:44,409 --> 00:40:45,777 HER ROOM? WHEN? WHEN SHE'S GONE. 1040 00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:47,412 ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING WITH IT? 1041 00:40:47,479 --> 00:40:48,847 WELL, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 1042 00:40:48,914 --> 00:40:51,116 WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT. YOU WANT HER ROOM? 1043 00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:52,851 FOR WHAT, YOUR BURGEONING MODERN-ART COLLECTION? 1044 00:40:52,918 --> 00:40:54,786 I'M TALKING ABOUT MY TOOLS. 1045 00:40:54,853 --> 00:40:57,155 OH, YOUR TOOLS, YEAH. WHAT TOOLS? 1046 00:40:57,222 --> 00:40:59,390 I HAVE THIS COLLECTION OF ANTIQUE FARMING TOOLS 1047 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:01,026 THAT MY DAD PASSED DOWN TO ME. 1048 00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:02,861 PREREVOLUTIONARY WAR. THEY'RE KIND OF VALUABLE. 1049 00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:04,896 AND I'VE GOT NO PLACE TO PUT THEM. 1050 00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,732 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT SPACE. 1051 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,366 IN RORY'S ROOM? IT'S PERFECT. 1052 00:41:08,433 --> 00:41:11,402 BUT SHE'S GOT ALL HER STUFF IN IT. NOT FOR LONG. 1053 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,138 YEAH, RIGHT, NOT FOR LONG. 1054 00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:14,540 JUST THINK ABOUT IT. 1055 00:41:14,606 --> 00:41:17,242 YEAH, I WILL. I WILL. 1056 00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:27,085 NO, NO, NOT ANOTHER BAND PHONE CALL. 1057 00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,054 YOU NEVER GAVE LANE A CUT-OFF TIME. 1058 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,890 LET THE MACHINE GET IT. I CANNOT TALK TO ANOTHER 17-YEAR-OLD 1059 00:41:31,957 --> 00:41:33,525 WHOSE EVERY OTHER WORD IS "UHH." 1060 00:41:33,592 --> 00:41:34,993 NOT EVEN A WORD. EXACTLY. 1061 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:37,428 Hello, Gilmores, this is Darren Springsteen, how are ya? 1062 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,064 I just wanted to let you know 1063 00:41:39,130 --> 00:41:41,499 that I just finished going over Rory's records here, 1064 00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:42,868 and no shock, they're perfect. 1065 00:41:42,934 --> 00:41:45,136 Rory, you are tailor-made for Harvard. 1066 00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:46,437 They're lucky to have you. 1067 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:49,074 As far as I'm concerned, you should pack your bags. 1068 00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:51,710 I'm gonna tell all this to the people in admissions, 1069 00:41:51,777 --> 00:41:53,945 and I'll give your headmaster a call as well. 1070 00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,947 So, take care. We'll talk again. Bye-bye. 1071 00:41:56,014 --> 00:41:58,483 THAT'S FANTASTIC, HONEY. YEAH. 1072 00:41:58,550 --> 00:42:00,886 YOU'RE IN. WELL, NOT OFFICIALLY. 1073 00:42:00,952 --> 00:42:02,387 HE SAID, "PACK YOUR BAGS." 1074 00:42:02,453 --> 00:42:04,489 YEAH. COOL. 1075 00:42:04,556 --> 00:42:06,124 SO, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TODAY? 1076 00:42:06,191 --> 00:42:08,226 YOU HAVE NEWSPAPER STUFF TO DO, RIGHT? 1077 00:42:08,293 --> 00:42:09,861 YEAH, A TON, 1078 00:42:09,928 --> 00:42:13,131 AND YOU WERE GOING TO CATCH UP WITH SOME STUFF AT THE INN? 1079 00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:16,635 A LOT OF CHECK SIGNING TO DO. ARE PEOPLE WAITING FOR THEIR CHECKS? 1080 00:42:16,702 --> 00:42:18,169 KIND OF. RIGHT. 1081 00:42:18,236 --> 00:42:19,571 YOU KNOW, UM, 1082 00:42:19,638 --> 00:42:21,673 THE NEWSPAPER STUFF CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY. 1083 00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:23,875 REALLY? 'CAUSE I COULD SIGN THE CHECKS TOMORROW. 1084 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:25,711 YOU SURE. ABSOLUTELY. 1085 00:42:25,777 --> 00:42:27,378 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 1086 00:42:27,445 --> 00:42:29,080 I DON'T KNOW. LET'S JUST HANG. 1087 00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:30,949 THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 1088 00:42:31,016 --> 00:42:32,884 Luke: YOU ORDERED THAT SIGN WEEKS AGO. 1089 00:42:32,951 --> 00:42:35,020 YOU WERE THAT SURE THAT I'D CAVE IN. 1090 00:42:35,086 --> 00:42:36,655 Taylor: WELL, YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU? 1091 00:42:36,722 --> 00:42:38,089 THAT WRITING'S TOO HIGH. 1092 00:42:38,156 --> 00:42:40,358 "TAYLOR'S"? IT SAID "STARS HOLLOW" ON STUPID THE MODEL, 1093 00:42:40,425 --> 00:42:44,229 AND I DON'T LIKE THE EXTRA "P" AND "E" AT THE END OF "SHOP." 1094 00:42:44,295 --> 00:42:45,697 I'M YOUR LANDLORD, TAYLOR. 1095 00:42:45,764 --> 00:42:47,833 AND AS A TENANT, I HAVE RIGHTS... 1096 00:42:47,899 --> 00:42:51,603 * SMILE, THERE'S NO REGRETS * 1097 00:42:51,670 --> 00:42:54,706 * THE YEARS WASH THROUGH OUR HANDS * 1098 00:42:54,773 --> 00:42:58,910 * AND THEN YOU NEVER SEE TOMORROW COMING * 1099 00:42:58,977 --> 00:43:03,649 * YOU ONLY FEEL THE WAKE OF IT * 1100 00:43:03,715 --> 00:43:06,952 * SMILE, THERE'S NO... *